Sometimes, I sure wish people would just like talk to me instead of being weird vipers about stuff.
But like, here we are, and if you try to make anything ultimately there will be people who don’t like what you think or don’t agree with it. I think most of the time the best thing to do even in those cases is to talk about it! So I try to, and I’ve made a lot of fantastic friends recently just by opening conversations and being honest about what I like and how I feel.
I’ve seriously made SO many more friends than I’ve lost that way, and I’m kind of the most fulfilled I’ve ever been socially speaking for it. I’ve even made friends with people I’ve really strongly disagreed with in some respects. It’s been great!
But it hasn’t always gone that way obvs. Other times I’ve gotten people making fun of me or being disingenuous or even downright mean about stuff and like, w.e, you know, that’ll happen. So I wanted to write about how I handle that stuff and why I approach it the way I do. Here’s that ramble.
My response to that kind of thing is always the same.
It’s what I recommend everyone engaging with fandom does when confronted with stuff like that:
Block, blacklist, and forget their names. Don’t give anyone the benefit of even being a voice in your head to make you hate or doubt yourself.
Ultimately, I do everything I do with a specific perspective. My life p much fell apart in November, and now my entire sense of self and sanity is based on the reality in my head that there’s fucking Nazis out there, and they want to kill anyone with values even remotely like mine.
By and large that goes for the people who have been cruel or bizzare to me, too. I don’t really spare any resentment or anger in my heart for anyone on those terms because ultimately we’re all angry and pissed off and tired and in danger.
I like to live with high hopes and a light heart, and where people upset me enough for me to distance myself, I try to remember them only insofar as in wishing them well on their path of experience and learning.
But the fact that I understand and wish I could make it better doesn’t mean that I owe it to anyone who clearly isn’t interested in genuinely engaging with me the time of day. And there are real, visceral dangers in our lives right now that deeply wish to overtake us.
Sometimes I can’t get out of bed thinking about how doomed I think we are. Sometimes it stalls me out when I’m working, or writing, or driving. Sometimes my thoughts are too jittery and nervous and closed in for me to even talk just with the amount of damnation and fear and self-loathing pent up in my own head.
So like, I don’t need extra help on that front from people who aren’t willing to actually have a conversation, you know? And probably neither do you, because like…who does really. We all have lives to live.
Part of why I do what I do here and talk about Homestuck positively so much is that I think a sense of unity and kinship is important in progressive spaces, and I can’t imagine a better story to encourage that than this inherently anti-fascist, anti-materialistic epic founded on the existential worthiness of LGBT love.
Part of why I do what I do here is an attempt to stoke a mentality of togetherness. Because on some level I hope I can make friends with people and feel less alone in the fucked up hellworld we seem to be stuck in.
So I’m invested in positivity and kindness and I don’t think being a “cool mean gay” is useful progressive praxis. I’ll readily distance myself from people who employ it at me, since it isn’t useful or constructive. And if you’re interested in experiencing online relationships in a way that isn’t exhausting and vicious I earnestly suggest picking up the habit!
Most people aren’t like that anyway, though, which is an encouraging thing I’ve learned over the last couple months.
Most people are kind and honest and willing to talk about stuff, so long as you give them the time. Don’t ever let small minorities of the mean-spirited stop you from putting art or thoughts out there that are unique and yours and full of love, no matter how loud they are. Don’t let the darkness of some discourage you from sharing your light with the many.
Whoever you are, reading this, know that I think you’re cool and smart and that we could probably have some interesting conversations if you talked to me as an equal. And know that most people think that way, too! There’s no need to let some make you feel down about yourself just because they don’t. It’s their loss.
Hopin to post that Jane meta by the end of the week! It’s p much finished, I’m just nervous and trying to polish my editing as much as possible.
Keep Rising,
Flying through Storytelling 