I actually don’t, I’ve tackled writing one before but it just didn’t come together in my head. But its together now so here we go, I’m making it now JUST FOR YOU.

I really love Roxy and this isn’t me trying to shit on her, to be clear. What I’m describing is something Roxy addresses and feels regretful about herself, as she describes to Jake.

But honestly becoming aware of how rough Dirk gets it from everyone made watching the most common fandom takes on him pretty much insufferable to me, so I do want to use this as an opportunity to knock some more dents into the terrible “Dirk was an aloof, cold manipulator who lacked Heart”  fandom metanarrative.

Because frankly the shit he gets from Roxy puts into perspective that in canon,  Dirk is a deeply loving and self-sacrificing boy with the patience of a goddamn saint and the self-loathing of a particularly repressed catholic, so let’s run through the greatest hits.

Let’s start at the Trickster arc, where Dirk plainly expresses his awareness of the behavior Roxy was describing above.

By this point in the narrative, Roxy’s feelings for Dirk are an open secret that goes unspoken since Dirk and Jake are dating during the 6 months of the session, but Trickster Mode dredges it all back up instantly.

Now let’s go back to the start.

Right in the pesterlog where Roxy asks Dirk to think about what it’d be like if they had kids together, she quickly alternates between being dramatically despondent (gotta wonder why this doesn’t get mentioned the way it does when Eridan does it to Feferi, btw) and outright aggressively disappointed in Dirk because of his sexuality.

This is Roxy being really forcefully clear that Dirk is gay, and that his gayness is a huge fucking drag for her. And we really have to point out that Roxy is the only actual friend Dirk has who he’s even out to at this point in the story!
Jane is completely clueless, and the only other person who knows is Hal, who is the manifest opposite of healthy emotional support.

When we see Dirk and Jake talk at 13, Jake alternates between reacting sharply negatively when Dirk so much as mentions the word gay and avoiding the subject entirely when Dirk tries to talk about gayness.

So like, sure Dirk’s emotional constipation has a lot to do with trying to live up to ideals of masculinity, but then again it’s not that Dirk doesn’t try to talk to anyone about his honest feelings? It’s that everywhere he could turn he’s met with some combination of disapproval, defensiveness, ignorance and/or disinterest.

It’s a pretty shit environment to be a gay guy in, honestly! And Roxy’s in the best position to understand and empathize with what Dirk’s going through, which means I’m inclined to hold her a bit more responsible than Jane and Jake.

Speaking of those two, this is also the period when Roxy A) Wants to stop everyone from playing Sburb at all, and B) starts playing matchmaker for Jane and Jake. And her feelings for Dirk put a bit of an edge on her actions, because sure, I’m sure a real part of her just wants Jane to have a fair shot…

But then again, if Jane and Jake hook up, that means Dirk’s got nobody but her, doesn’t it? Even when Dirk is denying any possible future for them outside of Sburb, Roxy questions the fact, still holding out that Dirk will get ‘ungay for a while’, as she puts it to Calliope.

Meanwhile, she passes the time by alternating between flirtlarping with Hal, a cybernetic 13 year old Dirk (Dirk feels deeply conflicted about having created) and switching back to flirting at him when he asks her to stop.

She even outright complains that Dirk isn’t more like the AR, pressuring him to act more like he used to before he started really becoming aware of his sexuality, or at least before he stopped wanting to own it honestly. In other words, Dirk is being pressured to feign interest in Roxy, with his own AI doppleganger being held over his head as a “superior” verison of himself.

Hal is fully aware Roxy is doing this, btw, and he uses it to further manipulate and guilt-trip Dirk as a way to lash out due to his own issues. And we know that on some level, it works, because when he talks to Jane on the quest crypts he comes clean about the fact that he actually DID feel guilty that he couldn’t just be into girls and give Roxy what she wanted.

All of this plays into every aspect of how Dirk relates to himself and the people around him–He feels guilty for not wanting Roxy, he feels guilty for viewing Jane as competition, he feels guilty for making Hal and subjecting him to his torturous existence, he feels guilty seeing Hal act out a warped, juvenile, toxic version of his own affections for Jake..

And he’s confused into conflating Hal’s agency with his own and taking responsibility for all of this as indicative of his own personal failures without ever considering the faults of anybody else except Hal, who he perceives less as his own person and more as a particularly damning extension of himself.

It is not a wonder that Dirk feels innately fucked up and toxic by the end of Homestuck!

But it IS kind of infuriating that so much of the fandom takes his description of himself at face value, because most of what he feels guilty for isn’t actually his fault. Like, christ, Dirk confesses he felt guilty about Roxy not long after Trickster Roxy sexually assaults him. That’s what this scene is! It is a non-consensual act of sexually charged contact! This is literally on the level of Crockertier Jane delivering her sex slavery speech to Jake.

But nobody really talks about it that way here, because Dirk’s whole thing is taking everything stoically on the chin and holding nobody responsible for anything bad that happens but himself. This panel is basically the epitome of that.

He thinks about punching Roxy to defend himself, given an opportunity to be a “man of action” for like, maybe literally the first time in this session and solve a problem head on, but he doesn’t. Because ultimately, he can’t bring himself to consciously hurt Roxy, and his desperate need to be a Good Person simply outweighs his desire to be left alone.

Anyway it all works out in the end, and Roxy correctly deduces she ended up messing with Dirk’s head, so I’m glad they presumably worked through all that stuff on Earth C. I just wanted to try to impress what a rough ride this was for Dirk with regards to how he was treated over his sexuality specifically, since I think it’s gone so under-discussed in the fandom.

Now Dirk is happy with his boyfriend Jake and his best friends Roxy, Jane and Callie, and he’s got a cool brother who loves him, and he has everything he deserves and more which means all is right in the world.

Roxy is in a way better, healthier, happier place too, with anywhere between one loving snake girlfriend and two girlfriends+maybe an eventual boyfriend if she and John ever decide to do the dating thing.

The sky’s the limit and she’s got all the romantic attention she could want, which is what she deserves because she’s a gem and a treasure who does her best by her friends even if she fucks up sometimes.

Homestuck is good. The end.