So what do you think post act-7 Strilonde plus honorary boyfriend/wife dynamics would be like? Stuff like Dave and Jake, Roxy and Kanaya, Rose and Jake, Roxy and Karkat… stuff like that?

Dave and Jake first and probably longest because I’ve been screaming about this for eons:

Dave and Jake come with a relationship built in if you think about it, and that relationship leads to not just Dave but also Dirk dying of embarrassment and also making Karkat and Jake instant bffs. Like. Dirk isn’t the only one with a SBAHJ tattoo and he’s not the only one who likes the movies, and yeah Jake likes every movie but he likes every movie PASSIONATELY and he adds every single word Dirk says about them and adds them to his pile of reasons to like the movies. Because they’re not just movies, they’re DIRK’S BRO’S movies, and Dirk’s Bro was a flipping HERO! And Jake knows EXACTLY how hard Dirk hero worshiped and looked up to Dave growing up, so considering how much Jake hero worships DIRK already…that rubbed off on him for sure.

So the instant Dave and Jake come into contact Dave is in for some incredibly flustered spiels about how cool he is and can Jake get an autograph and oh Dirk did you tell him about that stuff you said about the one really good part of moivie and and 

This is good for Dave because it gets across how highly Dirk really thinks of him much better than Dirk’s stoic, matter-of-fact recital, which means Karkat is immediately won over because anything that makes Dave happy is good by him, and it also gives everyone the pleasure of watching Dirk be actually legitimately embarrassed by something which is great. 

It’s also good for Jake because Dave seemed to have a similar particular admiration for Grandpa (just like I’m 100% sure one of Dirk’s reasons for taking an interest in robotics was being influenced by Grandma, sure as hell didn’t get it from Alpha Dave).

Kanaya loves Dirk and Jake but god she wishes they would let her dress them better. Dirk won’t stop tearing the arms off his shirts why. She finally makes progress by focusing on Jake alone and then having Jake help her influence Dirk.

I actually think Rose might underestimate Jake at first because she can be sort of smug and that might have her and Dirk come into conflict. More likely though is Jasprose is mean to Jake and Rose and Dirk commiserate over the pain of having an out of control splinter tormenting them. I know Jake would find her interesting and intimidating all at once and Rose would be very pleased with having another angle through which to interrogate Dirk. She’d try to pry into Jake but Jake is basically shameless and has nothing to hide. 

Roxy and Karkat and Dirk all bond over a “Piss on the Condesce’s actual grave” party and spend two months talking about how fucking awful she was. Roxy tells Karkat about killing the Condesce and wins him over as hard as Dirk and Jake do. 

Roxy and Kanaya were bros from the word matriorb but they like to team up to tease Rose sometimes and Rose is like how could you betray me like this…

Callie and Kanaya have a lot of fun learning Space powers together, too, not to mention bonding about their experiences with Sburb setting them apart from their culture. Roxy and Rose are delighted about this

I have more thoughts but that’s all for right now. 

Ya think Jake would ever convince Dirk to cosplay Neytiri for him?

It is a quantum inevitability that in any timeline that Jake’s powers progress far enough to figure out how to shapeshift, Dirk Strider is confronted with the fact that his boyfriend has Literally turned himself into a real as fuck shitty space furry with a fakeness attribute of exactly 0%, who wants to turn him into a shitty space furry too and have spiritual intercourse with their hair tails or some such shit. 

It is also a quantum inevitability that in every such timeline, Dirk Strider comes to the realization that he is in fact in love enough to do this, and the rest of his existence from then on is one of perpetually getting owned. 

yeah you’ve pretty much made me feel comfortable shipping dirkjake. I used to feel weird about it, like Rose shoving her wizard fic under the bed. But you pointing out how non-abusive their relationship is(which is not the first time I’ve heard the not-abusive argument but is by FAR the most cohesive and informed) made me feel like its a ship that can work bc Dirk isn’t actually that brand of asshole, and can be Jake’s prince. And fuck if that isn’t cute to say.

that’s pretty much how I felt for years until I actually really dug back in and took a long, hard look at the comic after being presented with different views by some really good friends 🙂 It makes me really happy if I’ve been able to help other people the way they helped me because…this story matters to me. Like, a lot? And I think it’s worth celebrating.

rosemary is probably the most important pairing to me in canon because it helped me through a lot of realizing i was gay and liked girls and just was very positive for me but as a relationship they also dont have a ton of issues and as ive gotten older dirkjake has been like the next level of interesting important gay ships to me and its helped me work through a lot of my own personal feelings on being a lonely weird gay teen and i love them for that

im getting so many nice asks about dirkjake being good for people and im literally on cloud nine right now

I feel like dirk and jake would recreate iconic movie posters as “ironic” (we know its not ironic dirk we know you love this cheesy stuff just as much as jake) christmas cards they exchange with dave and karkat trying to one up eachother in ironic cheesiness but they are just really cute

This is absolutely true and dovetails hard with my thoughts that Jake would conscript Dirk into co-cosplaying pretty much anything Jake got too invested in, including such pairs as:

Finnpoe

Shinji/Kaworu

Utena/Anthy (Dirk gets to be Anthy because Jake wants to be his prince this time!!! he really just wants to wear the booty shorts)

Juri/Shiori (Dirk gets to be Juri this time so that way Dirk can be his prince proper like. Also Jake hopes up an ending where they’re happy)

2B/9S (from Nier: Automata. Jake is 2B the sexy combat android because literally of course he is. Dirk is 9S the cute nice hacker boy because he’s in love with 2B and WILLING TO KILL FOR HER and Jake knows exactly what he’s doing and Dirk is owned) (( An awesome artist named merupuri did some excellent drawings on this subject) (which i originally misidentified as having been done by @geejaysmith who is still rad as hell)

Gon/Killua (Dirk doesn’t even protest this one, Gon/Killua vibes with Dirk and Jake so hard they watch it and look at each other and cry in bed for like a full night.  Watch Hunter x Hunter it’s so fucking good oh my god. Those boys are gay) 

The list goes on but you get the idea 

ive had so many conflicting opinions on dirkjake for so long because i ended up getting into a lot of fandom discourse stuff having not read the comic in its entirety in years and i sat down wanting to really figure out how i felt about dirkjake and what i found was a messy relationship that neither of them could really talk about and just honestly some of the best written most relatable gay teen angst ive ever read and i love your writing on it and im glad i can like dirkjake

ME TOO Dirkjake was so important to me when I was a messy gay teen angsting about gay teen things and the fact that antis almost ruined what is honestly like, one of the best mlm relationships ever put to fiction fills me with resentment. But that’s okay because here we are on the other end and not a single anti has yet come forward to refute even a single one of my points despite my consistent asking and Dirkjake is great and I am so happy I’m getting all these nice asks telling me how great it is, i’m happy ;w;

Faith and Fear

[Author’s Note: This is a repost of Love, Faith and Fantasy–my piece on Jake and Dirk’s character arcs and the relevance of Knights and Pages in understanding them. I thought breaking it up into chunks would make the content more accessible, and give me room to flesh out each argument. Thus there will be some updates to the content. Hopefully this will mean more people can easily approach it!]

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[Pt. 1 – Knights/Pages – Service and Ownage]
[Pt. 3 – Fearful Heart] [Pt. 4 – Noble]
[Pt. 5 – As You Wish]

Now that we’ve established that Knights are a Passive class and Pages an active one, and further established that the Passive/Active divide at least partly refers to a sort of inherent Selflessness vs. Selfishness, let’s take a look at what being a Page means for Jake.

To recap, the key verb for Knights and Pages is ‘Serve’–and the two classes are tied together by the symbol of Butlers, who show up linked to Dave and Jake with particular frequency.

This means we can roughly parse Jake’s title as:

One who Serves themselves Hope, or Serves themselves through Hope.

With the corollary attribute of One who is Served By Hope

So, how does Jake’s classpect inform us about his behavior?

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Let’s take a look.

I was never exactly trying to argue Jake was some kind of secret supergenius manipulator. What I tried to say, rather, is that he’s pretty much about as aware and capable as his friends are. 

Whatever mental hiccups he has that can be attributed to mental shortcomings on our part are a red herring, and it’s a red herring Jake kind of deliberately sets up. Jake’s problem is actually similar to Jane’s: Ignorance. 

But where Jane’s ignorance is mostly genuine–if stubborn and self-serving–Jake displays an intensely willful ignorance coupled with an intense aversion to confrontation. These traits typically end with him putting the burden of action on his friends, especially Jane and Dirk, and primarily so that Jake doesn’t have to let Jane down by letting her know he’d rather date Dirk instead.

Last we talked about Jake, I mentioned how soon after Roxy messaged him and let slip about Jane’s crush, Jake messaged Jane in order to talk to her about it. What I missed was that that conversation with Roxy happens much earlier, and Jake and Roxy actually have a SECOND conversation on the subjectimmediately preceding Jane and Jake’s conversation.

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Note here that Jake slips up and describes Jane’s pinings as “unrequited”. Jake broaches the subject, and then rambles a bit about how he wonders if people really do feel that way. Then Roxy is interrupted by something and has to go, which results in…

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I’m not really vouching for the idea that this “Hmm.” is definitely Jake being given a line of quiet contemplation before he decides to do what he does next–talk to Jane–but I will advance it as a possibility. At the very least, the line is ambiguous. This kind of understated response is a little bit odd in the context of Jake being worried about Roxy’s danger, and he seemed lost in his own thoughts right before she left. 

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Regardless, moving on to the next page. Despite knowing for a fact Jane has feelings for him, Jake chooses to believe Jane when she tells him she isn’t. Brain Ghost Dirk–who is Jake’s own brain–literally calls him out for doing this, so on some level, Jake is aware of it.

The question is: Why go about things this way? And how’d Jake even manage this bizarre feat of ignoring reality in the first place? If Jake knew how Jane felt, why not just answer her? And why does he seem to forget Jane ever liked him in the first place once she says No–to the point that even with Brain Ghost Dirk, his literal own brain, telling him better, he still claims ignorance?

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And the answer is that Jake conflates believing in someone with believing the things they say, and Jake very much wants to be a good friend to his loved ones. What Jake fears more than anything is that he may have to confront or disappoint anyone. That he be forced to find out he accidentally hurt his friends’ feelings–or be forced to choose to do something that would do so himself.

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This is why his big solution when he becomes a Trickster is to become a doormat and date everybody, explicitly so that he can make everyone happy–not because he wants to date everyone himself. (though he makes it a point to include Dirk when the girls exclude him)  And he admits his reasoning himself once the session falls apart:

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So it’s more convenient for him if it turns out he really was wrong about Jane liking him–despite literal evidence to the contrary–and once he has it, he serves himself through Hope and believes it wholeheartedly:

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Note that he admits to having put Jane on the spot while doing this, btw. 

He then puts Jane in a situation where she ends up helping him by acting as a confidant for months, all the while talking her up as such a great and understanding friend and thanking her. (This is an approach Jake constantly uses, by the way–think of his “standup gent” gratitude spiel in his first log with Hal. Why does Jake give it? He wants uranium–ie, Dirk’s service.)

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And implicitly uses the head trauma he received during session entry as a plausible excuse for his lack of foresight, just as he uses his Hotheaded Adventurer persona to ignore possibilities he finds inconvenient. He does all this because on some level he’s genuinely convinced it’s all true, so this isn’t exactly active manipulation. But he convinced himself it was true in the first place because it was conducive to his preferred fantasies.

This reluctance to confront his friends when he thinks there’s a chance he messed up also answers a question barely anyone seems to have asked:
If Jake was having so much trouble with Dirk, why did he always go to Jane or Erisol? Why never Roxy, over the course of six months?

The answer is because Roxy knows a secret (hidden information-Void stuff), a fact that Jake cannot square with his constructed identity: That he knew Jane liked him all along. Because she told him about it. (Roxy has her own reasons for not advancing this information, which we’ll get to someday.)

But because of all this behavior, Jake’s friends find it extremely difficult to approach him about subjects he doesn’t want to be approached with, which coupled with their own issues ends with everyone bottling up their feelings until they burst, always ending in Jake getting breathtakingly….

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Devastatingly…

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Served.

But I don’t want to harsh on Jake here. It’s not that he doesn’t love his friends–it’s just that he’s kind of selfish about it. But that isn’t always a bad thing.
Do you know what Jake is more comfortable doing for Jane than letting her down gently over her unrequited feelings?

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Literally dying for her. After she threatened him with sexual slavery.
And she’s not the one he chose to be with–but we’ll get to Dirk later. The point is this is not a boy who cares only about himself–it’s a boy who is so scared of disappointing the people he cares about he would rather lie to them and himself forever rather than face the possibility. 

Jake is selfish, sure–but you can love deeply and perform great acts based on selfish love. Another way to parse it is that he’s self-directed. Jake is demonstrably not motivated by thinking primarily about how his friends might benefit from(or be hurt by) his actions–that’s Dave’s instinct. 

Jake’s instinct is to get what he wants. But when they’re in danger, Jake wants to protect his friends more than he wants to stay alive himself. 

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt them when he’s thoughtless and selfish by choosing to believe whatever’s easiest for him, obviously. In the words of so many people who have told me about their perceptions of Dirk: “Intent does not invalidate harm.”

And there’s no one this habit of Jake’s hurts worse than it hurts Dirk Strider. 
We’ll talk about their relationship next. 


This series has been a passion project, but also a side project to my youtube series aimed at welcoming and explaining Homestuck to new, incoming Hiveswap fans. If you find yourself trying to make it easier for a Hiveswap fan to understand what Homestuck is about and how it connects to the game, I hope you think of me.

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See you again soon, everyone. Until then,

Keep rising.