Faith and Fear

[Author’s Note: This is a repost of Love, Faith and Fantasy–my piece on Jake and Dirk’s character arcs and the relevance of Knights and Pages in understanding them. I thought breaking it up into chunks would make the content more accessible, and give me room to flesh out each argument. Thus there will be some updates to the content. Hopefully this will mean more people can easily approach it!]

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[Pt. 1 – Knights/Pages – Service and Ownage]
[Pt. 3 – Fearful Heart] [Pt. 4 – Noble]
[Pt. 5 – As You Wish]

Now that we’ve established that Knights are a Passive class and Pages an active one, and further established that the Passive/Active divide at least partly refers to a sort of inherent Selflessness vs. Selfishness, let’s take a look at what being a Page means for Jake.

To recap, the key verb for Knights and Pages is ‘Serve’–and the two classes are tied together by the symbol of Butlers, who show up linked to Dave and Jake with particular frequency.

This means we can roughly parse Jake’s title as:

One who Serves themselves Hope, or Serves themselves through Hope.

With the corollary attribute of One who is Served By Hope

So, how does Jake’s classpect inform us about his behavior?

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Let’s take a look.

I was never exactly trying to argue Jake was some kind of secret supergenius manipulator. What I tried to say, rather, is that he’s pretty much about as aware and capable as his friends are. 

Whatever mental hiccups he has that can be attributed to mental shortcomings on our part are a red herring, and it’s a red herring Jake kind of deliberately sets up. Jake’s problem is actually similar to Jane’s: Ignorance. 

But where Jane’s ignorance is mostly genuine–if stubborn and self-serving–Jake displays an intensely willful ignorance coupled with an intense aversion to confrontation. These traits typically end with him putting the burden of action on his friends, especially Jane and Dirk, and primarily so that Jake doesn’t have to let Jane down by letting her know he’d rather date Dirk instead.

Last we talked about Jake, I mentioned how soon after Roxy messaged him and let slip about Jane’s crush, Jake messaged Jane in order to talk to her about it. What I missed was that that conversation with Roxy happens much earlier, and Jake and Roxy actually have a SECOND conversation on the subjectimmediately preceding Jane and Jake’s conversation.

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Note here that Jake slips up and describes Jane’s pinings as “unrequited”. Jake broaches the subject, and then rambles a bit about how he wonders if people really do feel that way. Then Roxy is interrupted by something and has to go, which results in…

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I’m not really vouching for the idea that this “Hmm.” is definitely Jake being given a line of quiet contemplation before he decides to do what he does next–talk to Jane–but I will advance it as a possibility. At the very least, the line is ambiguous. This kind of understated response is a little bit odd in the context of Jake being worried about Roxy’s danger, and he seemed lost in his own thoughts right before she left. 

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Regardless, moving on to the next page. Despite knowing for a fact Jane has feelings for him, Jake chooses to believe Jane when she tells him she isn’t. Brain Ghost Dirk–who is Jake’s own brain–literally calls him out for doing this, so on some level, Jake is aware of it.

The question is: Why go about things this way? And how’d Jake even manage this bizarre feat of ignoring reality in the first place? If Jake knew how Jane felt, why not just answer her? And why does he seem to forget Jane ever liked him in the first place once she says No–to the point that even with Brain Ghost Dirk, his literal own brain, telling him better, he still claims ignorance?

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And the answer is that Jake conflates believing in someone with believing the things they say, and Jake very much wants to be a good friend to his loved ones. What Jake fears more than anything is that he may have to confront or disappoint anyone. That he be forced to find out he accidentally hurt his friends’ feelings–or be forced to choose to do something that would do so himself.

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This is why his big solution when he becomes a Trickster is to become a doormat and date everybody, explicitly so that he can make everyone happy–not because he wants to date everyone himself. (though he makes it a point to include Dirk when the girls exclude him)  And he admits his reasoning himself once the session falls apart:

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So it’s more convenient for him if it turns out he really was wrong about Jane liking him–despite literal evidence to the contrary–and once he has it, he serves himself through Hope and believes it wholeheartedly:

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Note that he admits to having put Jane on the spot while doing this, btw. 

He then puts Jane in a situation where she ends up helping him by acting as a confidant for months, all the while talking her up as such a great and understanding friend and thanking her. (This is an approach Jake constantly uses, by the way–think of his “standup gent” gratitude spiel in his first log with Hal. Why does Jake give it? He wants uranium–ie, Dirk’s service.)

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And implicitly uses the head trauma he received during session entry as a plausible excuse for his lack of foresight, just as he uses his Hotheaded Adventurer persona to ignore possibilities he finds inconvenient. He does all this because on some level he’s genuinely convinced it’s all true, so this isn’t exactly active manipulation. But he convinced himself it was true in the first place because it was conducive to his preferred fantasies.

This reluctance to confront his friends when he thinks there’s a chance he messed up also answers a question barely anyone seems to have asked:
If Jake was having so much trouble with Dirk, why did he always go to Jane or Erisol? Why never Roxy, over the course of six months?

The answer is because Roxy knows a secret (hidden information-Void stuff), a fact that Jake cannot square with his constructed identity: That he knew Jane liked him all along. Because she told him about it. (Roxy has her own reasons for not advancing this information, which we’ll get to someday.)

But because of all this behavior, Jake’s friends find it extremely difficult to approach him about subjects he doesn’t want to be approached with, which coupled with their own issues ends with everyone bottling up their feelings until they burst, always ending in Jake getting breathtakingly….

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Devastatingly…

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Served.

But I don’t want to harsh on Jake here. It’s not that he doesn’t love his friends–it’s just that he’s kind of selfish about it. But that isn’t always a bad thing.
Do you know what Jake is more comfortable doing for Jane than letting her down gently over her unrequited feelings?

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Literally dying for her. After she threatened him with sexual slavery.
And she’s not the one he chose to be with–but we’ll get to Dirk later. The point is this is not a boy who cares only about himself–it’s a boy who is so scared of disappointing the people he cares about he would rather lie to them and himself forever rather than face the possibility. 

Jake is selfish, sure–but you can love deeply and perform great acts based on selfish love. Another way to parse it is that he’s self-directed. Jake is demonstrably not motivated by thinking primarily about how his friends might benefit from(or be hurt by) his actions–that’s Dave’s instinct. 

Jake’s instinct is to get what he wants. But when they’re in danger, Jake wants to protect his friends more than he wants to stay alive himself. 

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt them when he’s thoughtless and selfish by choosing to believe whatever’s easiest for him, obviously. In the words of so many people who have told me about their perceptions of Dirk: “Intent does not invalidate harm.”

And there’s no one this habit of Jake’s hurts worse than it hurts Dirk Strider. 
We’ll talk about their relationship next. 


This series has been a passion project, but also a side project to my youtube series aimed at welcoming and explaining Homestuck to new, incoming Hiveswap fans. If you find yourself trying to make it easier for a Hiveswap fan to understand what Homestuck is about and how it connects to the game, I hope you think of me.

If you like my writing and have a buck to spare, you could also really help me out by enabling me to focus on putting more of this content out there through pledging on Patreon. Doing so will also give you access to my private community of enthusiasts trying to advance new and interesting readings of this wonderful property.

See you again soon, everyone. Until then,

Keep rising.

this is a thing that just struck me now, regarding Lands and their owners — you know how LOTAK’s krypton is sometimes said to symbolize dirk’s suffocating/toxic tendencies (since krypton is both narcotic and asphyxiant)? an argument can be made for the xenon on LOMAX symbolizing something about jake as well. xenon gas is actually a potent anaesthetic when inhaled, perhaps signifying jake’s thing for willfully feigning obliviousness as though he were drugged/sedated

ao3sburbanite:

revolutionaryduelist:

FUCK yeah that’s really goddamn legit and now I want to know if Jane’s and Roxy’s are as on point too because my guess is: probably 

Helium builds up pressure in balloons until they fucking pop??? fits with Jane at least somewhat. Hit me up if you think of any more 

Neon is used to illuminate – neon lights are bright and funky but also used to highlight important things? Could be a metaphor for Roxy showing everyone on her team the way (and also getting frustrated because it’s super obvious to her but they somehow don’t see it).

Helium is an easier one, I think. Inhaling helium makes your voice artificially high (and cheerful sounding and funny), but the effect wears off pretty fast. It’s only a facade of relentless cheerfulness, if you like.

Krypton is indeed an asphyxiant, but so are all of the noble gasses. Breathing them in displaces the oxygen in your lungs and you die, not because of a poison reacting chemically with your body, but because the ‘air’ you’re breathing can’t sustain you.

I wonder if this is related to the kids’ isolation, if they all feel suffocated by their own personalities and problems. Dirk’s world is the only one shown that requires gas masks, though, and the only one where a visitor is affected enough to need one, so it’s safe to assume that Dirk (at least in his own mind) has the biggest issues with his problems and feeling like he’s suffocating those around him.

Yeah, I’m inclined to agree with all of this. Wondering if anything else on Neon will pop up, but Helium definitely lines up with Jane’s behavior quite a lot as well. Wonder why I haven’t heard this stuff mentioned sooner, honestly?

It’s honestly so funny to me this collision of events that I just watched unfold with my own 2 eyes today. I say Crockertier Jane tells us a lot of cool stuff abt Jane and IMMEDIATELY get a day’s worth of Discourse bout how I’m being too mean to poor Jane. Then you get this about how AR and Dirk can’t be separated from one another and they were written to highlight Dirk being A Bad Dude. And then I get this ask like damn u ever notice how ppl r so disproportionately mean to… JANE? lmao fandom!

Certain sectors of the fandom ARE disproportionately mean to Jane, and there’s subsects devoted to hating on Dirk or even Jake, too. I would say Dirk probably gets it the worst, absolutely, which makes it kind of….yeah. What I don’t get is why people feel OBLIGATED to go to these extremes, like why does Jane have to be this perfect flawless buttercup who had her entire personality overwritten for you to be able to sympathize with mind control? Why does Dirk have to be Just As Bad as the AR for you to see how he sees himself in the AR and stresses out about the possibility that he COULD be?

Why does Dirk have to be An Abuser for his emotional repression and inability to reach out to be a problem (for himself as much as for his friends btw! Dirk’s problem isn’t holding his friends to too high a standard, it’s an INABILITY TO PARSE THEM AS DOING ANYTHING THAT HURTS HIM MEANINGFULLY WHILE HE DEMONIZES HIMSELF…)

Sorting these characters into capital letter Heroes and Villains is what the reductive, vaguely arbitrary game mechanic IN THE COMIC does. Is it really impossible for us to do better? Is it genuinely too much to ask for us to treat these characters like people instead of cartoons? I realize the question is silly to phrase that way but come the fuck on, everyone reading this knows Homestuck and knows what we’re here for.

I don’t see why critical thinking magically short-circuits forever once we come to trying to untangle the web of hurt (AND LOVE!!! THE HURT MATTERS LESS THAN THE LOVE AND HOMESTUCK IS EXPLICIT ABOUT THIS) between these kids. It’s frustrating. 

Do you think the – highly reactionary – responses to Jane and Roxy’s flaws being out of proportion with the much calmer responses to Jake and Dirk’s flaws is based in misogyny? Because looking through discourse, it seems that Jake stans in particular refuse to let anyone criticize the boys, whereas *especially* the Jane hate as of late has been centered on her “versus” Jake?

Like Loss said, I wouldn’t say Dirk’s treatment is anywhere near calm or even sane, frankly. Dirkcourse was such a torrent of hatred, moral superiority and frankly homophobic sentiment that it has still left Dirk’s characterization in fanon in ruins to this day. 

I’d say the same is true of the Alphas in general. If anyone escaped it’s probably Roxy, and people have swept a lot of the grosser shit she did under the rug as a result. Jake has “escaped” in that a lot of people chose to victimize him and strip him of any recognizable character traits in order to turn him into their blank slate Victim–whether it be Jane’s victim, or Dirk’s. 

If I were to put a core cause to all of it I wouldn’t really point to homophobia or misogyny though certainly both are factors–I would point to the fandom’s seeming inability to accept nuance or shades of grey in these characters, which is also something you see a lot in, say, people’s approach to Vriska. 

It’s boring, frankly. More than boring, it’s tragic. Homestuck deserves better, and the Alphas do too–because the Alpha’s story is one of flawed, flawed kids put in horrible, horrible situations and fucking up massively but figuring out how to love each other anyway. I’m not interested in pinning down any of the four–or even the AR–as the Innate Root of All The Evils of the Session. They’re all in love, they’re all lonely, they’re all hurt, and they all express those things differently.

I don’t see the need to play the game game with the Alphas–I just see the need to explore the nuances of their love and struggles and describe the nature of their happy conclusion. The Alphas are one of the most positive stories in all of Homestuck, in my honest opinion (even INCLUDING all the issues people levy at the ending), and I really hope someday the rest of the fandom can see it that way. If for no other reason than we’ll all be happier for it. 

I think I’m gonna start doing a music tag where I just post songs and include lyrics that I think are relevant to particular characters or pairs of characters, hopefully letting people know I do in fact care about the ones I haven’t written about yet.

Science/Visions – Chvrches – [Rose Lalonde & Roxy Lalonde] 

When you are truly yourself
You will
Succumb to a permanence
A light by day
A shadow resides by night


With understanding
You won’t let it cast you down
A mind full of questions
A current to purify
Science and visions
Be near when I call your name
A mind full of questions
A current to purify
Science then visions
Be near when I call your name
Or ask me a question


Anime Dirk would watch with his friends

Rose & Kanaya: Revolutionary Girl Utena. Dirk and Rose have ridiculously in-depth conversations about visual symbolism and growing up queer and toxic masculinity and predatory manipulation. Rose has to reassure Dirk he isn’t like the dudes at least twice but through subtle passive-aggressive barbs. Kanaya is sipping tea and sure there are great storms brewing in this conversation but it’s not gonna stop her from sewing this Rose Bride cosplay and having fun.

Jake: Hunter x Hunter. Dirk sees himself in Killua too much and cries a few times. Jake is floored and pokes some fun at him but then realises Dirk relates because of how much Killua loves Gon and figures out he’s the Gon here, then he’s crying too. They kiss and wear flower crowns and do couple cosplays. Jake loves the tiny shorts. Dirk does too. 

John & Roxy: Gurren Lagaan. Dirk complains a lot. John sprains his eyes from rolling them too hard. Roxy loves every second of it. They get so mad at each other it turns into a wrestling match and Roxy snapchats the whole thing for everyone and later asks Dirk if it’s weird she thought it was hot. Dirk grins and says ‘You can look but don’t touch.’ They hug and it’s great and John d’aws.

Jane: Evangelion. He spends about equal amounts of time complaining about the meaningless religious bullshit and trying not to cry about people loving each other but not knowing how to connect. Jane understands him perfectly on both counts just like she knew she would but he wasn’t expecting it would hit close to home for her too. They hug and it’s great and Jake cries when he hears about it later. 

Dave & Karkat: Karkat won’t watch anything thats not a high school romance shoujo, Dave only likes anime that’s shitposty, and Dirk only wants to watch sbahj with Dave anyway. They try to find some middle ground but it never happens. Then Rose sets them up with the Sailor Moon dub and they never stop referencing it for the rest of their immortal lives. 

Jade & Calliope: Dirk wants to get closer to Jade but he’s incredibly intimidated and worried about being weird because she’s Jake’s grandmother, so he’s super psyched when she corners him and is like “Hey I heard you’re a furry too” and he’s like “AM I” and she wants to show him this great show about furries is he free this afternoon.

He says he is and then suddenly he’s sitting on a couch and he’s psyched Jake is gonna be so happy with him and maybe he’ll break the awkward ice with Jade for good and then she loads up the show and it’s Sonic X.

Dirk looks sideways and Jade and Calliope look so earnest and happy and they already have drawing tools out because they like to draw fursona designs while they watch and Dirk has just committed to an afternoon marathon of Sonic X. He wonders if theres any horses in the sonic franchise. There’s not.